2020-05-22

MANAGING EXPECTATIONS

Managing expectations

Everyone experiences things differently. Talking to others about their experiences and trying to learn from them can be useful, but also deceptive.
Especially regarding breastfeeding and baby’s sleep a lot of mothers I have coached were suffering from misconceptions they had after hearing the stories of other parents but also of talking to health professionals. On the one hand, there is a tendency to protect expectant mothers and don’t make them worry more than a lot of them already do. That’s a good thing, because a positive attitude is certainly helpful. On the other hand, it can help a lot to deal with possible difficulties if you know that they exist and where they come from. Very often I heard the statements: “If only someone had told me about this truthfully beforehand” and “If I had known that before my baby was born”. I am aware that this is a very sensitive issue but talking to mothers has made me aware that it is important not to leave it out.

Breastfeeding

One misconception about breastfeeding a lot of mothers I spoke to, suffered from, was, that it should be easy and work by itself. For some women that is true, but a lot of mothers experience nursing as a learning process, which takes a lot of patience. And the baby too, though born with natural instincts, has to practice and it can take up to 6 weeks until the hormones of mother and baby are completely in tune and nursing becomes a matter of course.
Knowing this can help you sit through initial difficulties without feeling like you are the only one who does not immediately succeed without any trouble.

Being aware that breastfeeding will take up a lot of your time, was also a point that a lot of mothers emphasized as important. And that it is ok, to sometimes feel fed up with it. Keep in mind, that you are not the only one who feels like that and that it is a completely normal reaction. Again, moral and practical support and encouragement are extremely helpful to persevere – that can be just someone who sits next to you or brings you a snack while you are feeding, or the visit of a lactation consultant.